For the first time ever as a doula, I missed a birth! To make a long story short, both the mother and I were lulled into believing she was not a far along as she was, and 20 minutes after I received a call to come because her water broke, their new baby girl was unexpectedly born at home into her father's hands.
While not technically my fault, as I had conferred with the mother frequently only to jointly decide that it would likely still be awhile, I feel terrible that I was not there for them when the baby arrived. I think all doulas look back on the births they attend and wonder what they may have done better or differently, and this is no exception. "I should have known she was getting close. If only I had left earlier. I should have... If only..."
My own frustration aside, I am just thrilled about their birth. I believe this was a wonderful healing experience for the mother after her difficult first birth, and the dad is rightfully proud of himself and has a great story to tell the guys at work. And of course their baby girl is their greatest reward.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Friday, January 06, 2006
The Birth Plan "Jinx"
I participate as a online helper on the Hypnobabies yahoo group, and yesterday one of the members reported hearing the following as part of her hospital tour:
"...birth plans are jinxed here so think twice about bringing one."
Sadly, this a common perception among some hospital staff. In my opinion, the notion that "women who have birth plans don't get what they want" is a sort of half-truth that can be accounted for by several factors:
1. The majority of women who have birth plans want less- or non-interventive births. One only needs to look at hospital intervention rates to see that unplanned interventions are overwhelmingly the result of modern maternity care, not the presence or absence of a birth plan.
2. The beliefs of the nurses have a tremendous effect on the outcomes of births they attend, which can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts if the nurse believes that "birth plans never work out". I think this belief also reflects the fact that hospitals are accustomed to seeing highly compliant patients who don't bring a list of requests with them upon admission.
3. In a small number of cases I do see women who's birth plans are a reflection of their tremendous need to control a birth environment that they perceive to be hostile. In this case, fear can indeed derail a birth and ideally she would choose another birth setting or care provider.
All of that said, all of my doula client prepare birth plans and the vast majority go on to have unmedicated births. In fact, after my first Hypnobabies birth, the postpartum nurse was wheeling my client to her new room and when she saw the chart said, "Most women who have a birth plan end up with a c-section." I kindly pointed out that my client got everything on her plan, just as she wanted. So don't be deterred from making your wishes known!
"...birth plans are jinxed here so think twice about bringing one."
Sadly, this a common perception among some hospital staff. In my opinion, the notion that "women who have birth plans don't get what they want" is a sort of half-truth that can be accounted for by several factors:
1. The majority of women who have birth plans want less- or non-interventive births. One only needs to look at hospital intervention rates to see that unplanned interventions are overwhelmingly the result of modern maternity care, not the presence or absence of a birth plan.
2. The beliefs of the nurses have a tremendous effect on the outcomes of births they attend, which can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts if the nurse believes that "birth plans never work out". I think this belief also reflects the fact that hospitals are accustomed to seeing highly compliant patients who don't bring a list of requests with them upon admission.
3. In a small number of cases I do see women who's birth plans are a reflection of their tremendous need to control a birth environment that they perceive to be hostile. In this case, fear can indeed derail a birth and ideally she would choose another birth setting or care provider.
All of that said, all of my doula client prepare birth plans and the vast majority go on to have unmedicated births. In fact, after my first Hypnobabies birth, the postpartum nurse was wheeling my client to her new room and when she saw the chart said, "Most women who have a birth plan end up with a c-section." I kindly pointed out that my client got everything on her plan, just as she wanted. So don't be deterred from making your wishes known!
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